The managing partner at my office bade everyone a good holiday yesterday via email which said, “For those of you celebrating, Happy Ascension Day! For the rest, see you at the mall!” This was both funny and wickedly accurate with a touch of sarcasm, because if you are a Jakarta resident wondering where to go (e.g. where to eat, where to watch movies, where to get groceries, where to get your nails done or where to rendezvous) you will most likely end up at the mall.
Lacking creativity, I took my mom to the mall. We queued and circled around for parking space for over 15 minutes, and finally waited on a family that were walking back to their car. As we waited, another car pulled up right beside us with its nose blocking our path, vulgarly laying claim to the parking space. Fighting ensued, during the course of which my mom, a very sweet and mild-mannered person, made angry racist comments to the other party. And then deciding that parking space was too superficial to be fought over, we haughtily drove away and abandoned the mall. I’ve often thought that going to the mall on holidays and weekends is a pretty bad idea. Now I’m pretty certain it’s a pretty bad idea.
I also have a particular aversion with certain types of people you meet at the mall, which I’ve categorized as follows (please excuse me if I step on a few toes here):
- Ladies with Branded Monogram Bags. I see so many Louis Vuitton’s I can barely appreciate it anymore (not that I ever did). It is neither exclusive nor sophisticated. Especially when they come with gaudy cherry prints. Multiple-printed logos look rather like gift-wrapping too, don’t they.
- Ladies Who Lunch with Big Hair. Middle-aged ladies who lunch with about 10 girlfriends during work-hours because they probably do not need to have a job, and they are dressed to the nines at a mall, and their tresses of hair look fresh out of the hairdresser, puffed out and stiff with hairspray. They look like people who are suffering hair-loss and trying to camouflage it.
- Ladies in a Veil with their Hotpanted / Tanktopped Teenage Daughter. Nothing wrong with either, but the two paired together is a sight that is just awkwardly lopsided.
- Ladies who Can’t Walk. Because their heels are too high. Therefore they do not swing their legs like normal people, but sort of walk with awkward determined knee-lifting strides. It looks painful.
- Ladies who are Blinged-Out. Too much accesory is overkill. Some ladies wear big earrings, necklace, bracelets, and rings all in one because heck, they love all their bling and can’t decide which one to leave at home.
- Ladies with Two Toddlers and Two Nannies. The lady sits, eating her salad, staring pensively into open space. Her toddlers, of enough age to eat by themselves, are being spoon-fed, mouth-wiped, and fussed over by their respective nannies. Once in a while she looks at her children with unconvincing concern, tosses her well-permed curls with her well-manicured hands and resumes eating in silence.
Lacking creativity, I took my mom to the mall. We queued and circled around for parking space for over 15 minutes, and finally waited on a family that were walking back to their car. As we waited, another car pulled up right beside us with its nose blocking our path, vulgarly laying claim to the parking space. Fighting ensued, during the course of which my mom, a very sweet and mild-mannered person, made angry racist comments to the other party. And then deciding that parking space was too superficial to be fought over, we haughtily drove away and abandoned the mall. I’ve often thought that going to the mall on holidays and weekends is a pretty bad idea. Now I’m pretty certain it’s a pretty bad idea.
I also have a particular aversion with certain types of people you meet at the mall, which I’ve categorized as follows (please excuse me if I step on a few toes here):
- Ladies with Branded Monogram Bags. I see so many Louis Vuitton’s I can barely appreciate it anymore (not that I ever did). It is neither exclusive nor sophisticated. Especially when they come with gaudy cherry prints. Multiple-printed logos look rather like gift-wrapping too, don’t they.
- Ladies Who Lunch with Big Hair. Middle-aged ladies who lunch with about 10 girlfriends during work-hours because they probably do not need to have a job, and they are dressed to the nines at a mall, and their tresses of hair look fresh out of the hairdresser, puffed out and stiff with hairspray. They look like people who are suffering hair-loss and trying to camouflage it.
- Ladies in a Veil with their Hotpanted / Tanktopped Teenage Daughter. Nothing wrong with either, but the two paired together is a sight that is just awkwardly lopsided.
- Ladies who Can’t Walk. Because their heels are too high. Therefore they do not swing their legs like normal people, but sort of walk with awkward determined knee-lifting strides. It looks painful.
- Ladies who are Blinged-Out. Too much accesory is overkill. Some ladies wear big earrings, necklace, bracelets, and rings all in one because heck, they love all their bling and can’t decide which one to leave at home.
- Ladies with Two Toddlers and Two Nannies. The lady sits, eating her salad, staring pensively into open space. Her toddlers, of enough age to eat by themselves, are being spoon-fed, mouth-wiped, and fussed over by their respective nannies. Once in a while she looks at her children with unconvincing concern, tosses her well-permed curls with her well-manicured hands and resumes eating in silence.
So if you don’t go to the mall where do you go? That’s a good question. After exiting the mall parking lots, I took mom for late lunch at Hong Kong Café (which was very parking-friendly by the way), and we ate hot dimsums in the late afternoon sun. Much better.
(Speaking of malls, check this out it's wild:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdD0j6wmMNc&feature=fvst
5 comments:
haven't visited your blog for ages... nice piece of writing here. i couldn't agree more with you. and i'm sorry if i stepped on few toes here as well, but the types you mentioned here make me sick lol. the gf and i are trying hard to avoid the malls. no malls in weekend! hahaha
haha... we should make a facebook group titled "No malls in weekend".
lol...let's just go to the park !
(but not the parking lot xD)
did you successfully upload the video thing?
blue eyes: which park exactly? *hand to my forehead like Jack Sparrow looking for land*
yodee: See above link? It still looks like a hyperlink. It's probably a blogspot thing. :(
Post a Comment