Canvas

A weekend in Bali can be a blank canvas filled with sketches of your imagination of choice. And when I say imagination I'm not implying that mushrooms should be involved at all times. I mean there is anything for everyone if everyone doesn't mind not following anyone.

My friend Rio likes to say that most people don't know how to enjoy being alone. I think being alone is only fun when it is a choice. We agree that most people don't even choose to be alone.

So that weekend in Bali, he and I headed to echo beach, just the two of us as usual, armed with style. His scarf and shockingly stylish sunglasses, a bottle of wine, two proper glasses we bought at the mini-mart, an effective number of joints. The skies opened out limitless above us. I lay back on the warm sand staring at the white cirrus clouds rippling across the sky like the surface of a light blue lake being gently stroked by the breeze. The actual breeze was stroking my skin. The scent was as familiar and comforting as the sound of crashing waves. Nothing else I wanted to do, nowhere else I wanted to be.

"I wish this was an hour away from Jakarta and I could escape here every weekend"

"No. It doesn't work like that. It won't be as magical," he says.

"I wish people would be more relaxed about finding the one to marry."

"I decided to be gay so no one could pressurize me into getting married."

He says the silliest things sometimes.

"I know plenty of married men," I say. "They try. They tell me how interesting I am. God, they seem so lonely."

"That's because they thought they got married out of personal choice, but really it was a choice wrought by social conditioning. Society expects them to find the one after a certain age or milestone or checklist ... and they are encouraged to think that they've found the one... But they don't think it's important that in order to find the one ... they have to first of all find themselves."

He says the most profound things sometimes.

I think finding oneself needs a bit of imagination.

It's his birthday today, by the way. I think another bottle of wine is in order. We could make a toast to blank canvases.