Inevitably, there comes a time when more and more of your friends are getting married. It is announced, you are surprised. Your friend is as young as you feel you are. You give hearty congratulations, still unbelieving. And then you ask, “Are you sure?” Your friend says, “I’m sure. It’s time to move on in life.” And suddenly, just like that, your friend transforms into an adult you’ve never noticed before.
Women are… very women about marriage. Most of the women I talk to are either complaining that their biological clock is ticking, or complaining that married life is such a burden. It is exasperating. Women should be taught how to make up their minds. But before I start abusing my own gender (again), let’s look in the mirror for a minute. Darn, a pimple! But my hair looks perfect. Sorry, where were we? Ah yes. Marriage.
I am undecided about how I feel. So is my mother. She can say “girls shouldn’t date too long, it’s not good, it’s better to be married soon rather than have a prolonged dating game, but after marriage girls will have to limit themselves and their career to take care of the household.” That, in my view, is two completely different choices and the same sentiment. I couldn’t help but notice the tone of resignation, the lack of options, the choosing between two evils attitude.
I do not want to be an old spinster. But I do not want to limit my career. If I ever have children, I would want them to receive my full attention. But the career I am dreaming to achieve will require long working hours and higher education overseas. I wouldn’t feel complete if I wasn’t independent and confident about my achievements. Somewhere along the way I also wouldn’t feel complete if I didn’t have my own family.
Nobody has yet given me a satisfactory answer on how to balance the two. For the moment it is an impossible choice to make. Perhaps it is fortunate that I don’t need to make that choice just yet. But perhaps the sooner I figure it out the better.
Women are… very women about marriage. Most of the women I talk to are either complaining that their biological clock is ticking, or complaining that married life is such a burden. It is exasperating. Women should be taught how to make up their minds. But before I start abusing my own gender (again), let’s look in the mirror for a minute. Darn, a pimple! But my hair looks perfect. Sorry, where were we? Ah yes. Marriage.
I am undecided about how I feel. So is my mother. She can say “girls shouldn’t date too long, it’s not good, it’s better to be married soon rather than have a prolonged dating game, but after marriage girls will have to limit themselves and their career to take care of the household.” That, in my view, is two completely different choices and the same sentiment. I couldn’t help but notice the tone of resignation, the lack of options, the choosing between two evils attitude.
I do not want to be an old spinster. But I do not want to limit my career. If I ever have children, I would want them to receive my full attention. But the career I am dreaming to achieve will require long working hours and higher education overseas. I wouldn’t feel complete if I wasn’t independent and confident about my achievements. Somewhere along the way I also wouldn’t feel complete if I didn’t have my own family.
Nobody has yet given me a satisfactory answer on how to balance the two. For the moment it is an impossible choice to make. Perhaps it is fortunate that I don’t need to make that choice just yet. But perhaps the sooner I figure it out the better.
