Girls will be girls.

As a girl I am not immune to erratic behaviours of irrationality. Call it hormones or the time of the month or whatever, but certainly there are moments where I feel like I‘m losing it.

Only last week my bf went on a 6-day business trip to a remote province, given only 3 hours notice by his superiors. Obviously I was very surprised and disappointed because (i) that just killed my entire weekend, (ii) he won’t be able to make it to my birthday dinner, and (iii) 6 days is too long! What if I miss him? (Please excuse my lapses of cheesiness.)

What I wanted to do was to sulk and pout a bit and just generally be childish (when applied carefully, such reactions could pass as ‘endearing’, which works like a charm). But red neon lights spelling “irrational behaviour” immediately started blinking in my head, and so I quickly (and at some point, sincerely) told bf that it was a wonderful opportunity and a great show of trust from his superiors and good luck safe trip and etcetera.

An entire half-day went by without me hearing any more news from him. I start fiddling my phone. If I text him, he’d probably reply, but then I wouldn’t really know whether he actually misses me enough to sms me because then he’d only be replying to my message. But if I don’t text him and he doesn’t text me, then I wouldn’t really know what he’s up to and I would be thinking irrational assumptions all day. (Disclaimer: I do not neglect my work in order to think these thoughts. Most girls are multi-taskers in that sense). So I text him and he texts me back to say he’s in a meeting and he’ll update me later. “Obviously”, I fumed to myself. I knew all along that was the case.

Later on I met a girlfriend who said “God I hate it when guys say they’re in a meeting! It just stalls my emotions!” I quietly thought to myself, I do not want to be the girl who is pissed at having her emotions stalled over a meeting. I am rational. I am understanding. I am in control. I have work to do. I am just as busy. I probably even treat him the same way. Breathe in, breathe out.

Last night bf told me that his stay might be extended for two more days. I said, “Are you fucking kidding me??” Wait, no, that was my hormonal head. What I really said, somewhat meekly, was, “Is there good laundry service? Do you have enough clothes?” I know, I know, that was pretty lame. But one must maintain sanity at all times.